I’m expecting another baby. I’m not quite at the “beached whale” stage, but I’m unequivocally rotund.
And with the protruding belly, the backaches and the lack of balance, I’ve also recently remembered that part of being pregnant with my fifth child means that I get asked, “Are you done yet?” and “Do you really think you can handle another one?” And I feel the unspoken question is passed through a glance, “Why don’t you use birth control?”
As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (often mistakenly called the Mormon Church), we Mormons are often known for having large families. What many people don’t know is that we have these large families mindfully. Every single one of my children was intentional. We believe that before we came to earth we lived with God, as his children, and that we awaited the opportunity to receive a body and progress to become more like Him.
Because we have a belief in a life before birth, members of the Church of Jesus Christ have a unique desire to invite those spirits, who have yet to be born, into our homes as our children. We believe that this offers them the greatest opportunity for their continued growth in a household of faith. We also feel a personal responsibility to fulfill God’s commandment to “multiply and replenish the earth.”
Sometimes I am asked by close friends who practice other religions why we don’t use birth control and I jokingly answer, “We do! Imagine what my family would look like if we didn’t!” In all seriousness, in such private matters the husband and wife use the guidance of the Holy Ghost to direct them in the number and spacing of their children. Birth control is not expressly endorsed or forbidden except in one instance—abortion.
From True to the Faith, a manual for those seeking Mormonism’s basic tenets:
“Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints must not submit to, perform, encourage, pay for, or arrange for an abortion…Some exceptional circumstances may justify an abortion, such as when pregnancy is the result of incest or rape, when the life or health of the mother is judged by competent medical authority to be in serious jeopardy, or when the fetus is known by competent medical authority to have severe defects that will not allow the baby to survive beyond birth. But even these circumstances do not automatically justify an abortion.”
We believe that the giving and taking of life are two powers that should not be handled lightly. Failure to be cautious in the giving of life does not justify the taking of that life, or the promise of that life, after the fact.
Although procreation is undoubtedly an essential part of God’s plan for our happiness here on earth, sexuality between a husband and wife is not meant solely to create life. It’s meant to be a unifying experience for married couples. Modern scripture elaborates on the Adam and Eve story. In it, God expressly commands, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh“ (Moses 3:24).
The sacred powers of sexuality and creation are revered and honored in LDS culture and as such, are guarded by our strict adherence to modesty— including the wearing of the temple garment under our clothing— and our commitment to being sexually abstinent before marriage and completely loyal to our spouse after it.
In many religions, there is an altar, a sacred place where hearts are given to God in complete offering. For us, altars are found in churches where the sacrament is broken and blessed and in temples where we kneel across from each other and are married. It is here that promises are made and God extends His grace to His children. Kneeling before an altar shows complete submission to the will of God and His timing.
In our home, we have another special place—our bed. We kneel before it and offer our hearts to God and accept His will for our family. We promise to care for each of the children He sees fit to give us—His children, not ours really. And we share a sacrament as husband and wife that unites us in passion and joy and selflessness.
We may be done having children, we’ll see. We always try to take them one at a time. But whatever the future holds, I know we can handle what God has given us through His grace. Bound together in spiritual, emotional, mental and physical unity, my husband and I pledge our hearts to each other, to God and His children.
This article was written by Miranda Lotz, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Miranda H. Lotz is a military wife, mother and avid reader. She loves composing music and currently resides in Colorado Springs.