In Florence, Italy they have a lovely way of celebrating women. On International Women’s Day on March 8th, Florentine men walk the streets with little yellow flowers in hand to gift to the women in the city.
I wasn’t aware that Women’s Day was celebrated before I studied in Florence. The morning of March 8th that year, I bounded down the stairs in my apartment next to the Sante Croce Cathedral along the Arno River. I whipped out into the sunshine, happy to be in Florence.
I wandered a little way down the cobblestone street and unlocked my “be-basketed” cruiser bike like I did every morning. I jumped on in full pedal mode. The side street my apartment was on was never very busy, so I was surprised when an older Italian man in a plaid jacket and newsboy cap motioned for me to stop.
He said, “Happy Women’s Day” in Italian and handed me a lovely fresh yellow flower. My Italian was pretty rusty, so I was completely baffled by this sweet gesture of kindness.
I soon found out that Florentines observe Women’s Day by handing out little gifts, flowers, and watching the kids, so women can go out with their friends that evening.
Women are so special and important to the world. I have always felt a keen sisterhood with all human beings of the female gender. Women’s rights and the power women can wield have also been very important to me, even from a very young age.
When I worked at the United Nations headquarters in New York, I had the opportunity to learn even more about women around the world. I learned more about worldwide challenges for women such as lack of access to water, poverty, lack of education, human trafficking and sexual violence.
Different avenues of women empowerment such as education and micro-credit loans are some of the solutions I was able to study and participate in.
But there is another issue that plagues the women of this earth. It is just as dangerous as poverty and hunger — the loss of virtue.
Many ignore the slow decay that is the sexualization of women in society. I would sadly propose that most in the world don’t think immorality and objectifying women are a problem.
And it’s starting early. IN 2011, Deseret News published an investigative series on the sexual objectification of women and girls. In one 2011 article, “The End of Innocence, the Cost of Sexualizing Kids”, Deseret News reported some shocking finds.
Sexualization, experts say, devalues accomplishment, intelligence and character. Pope John Paul II once said “the problem with pornography is not that it shows too much of a person, but that it shows far too little.” The same can be said when people are valued only for sex appeal, says Jason Evert, a San Diego-based author and motivational speaker, who addresses thousands of teens each year.
Steve Thomsen, communication professor at Brigham Young University said, “At a “very young age, sexuality becomes a component of their self-concept. That’s what they see. They discover relationships with members of the opposite sex at younger ages. Music has content that pushes the envelope. With a combination of a lot of factors, children at 10 or 11 now think the way someone two generations ago reached at 19 or so.”
Poor body image and appearance obsession is also a problem with women and girls. Deseret News reports:
The sexualization of girls is happening at a younger and younger age as children, even toddlers, are bombarded with a plethora of adult influences and perceptions, studies say.
Eighty percent of 10-year-old girls in the U.S. report they have been on a diet, according to a recent study, “Eating Disorders Today — Not Just a Girl Thing.” The study also reported the No. 1 wish for girls from the ages 11-17 is to be thinner.
It’s cliché, but true – the media vaults these ideas further at a frenzied pace. The plague of pornography and non-stop sexual images that are presented in the mall, on the TV, in music and video games starts to chip away at young brains and their idea of self sinks lower and lower.
…Jennfier Stevens Aubrey, University of Missouri professor, conducted…studies have shown that women who tend to objectify themselves are more likely to have eating disorders, have low sexual and self esteem, be sexual risk takers and have depression. The same is not true for men. Men are not only judged by their looks, but by things like their intelligence, assertiveness and accomplishments.
The more media people consume, the more likely they are to treat women and girls or themselves as an object “The media increases self-objectification for women. Girls begin to believe they are for someone else’s pleasure. It’s very dehumanizing.
And I think that word, “de-humanizing”, is the key. Sadly, genocide has been committed so many times throughout history. In Nazi Germany, Hitler promoted his campaign and the slaughter of Jews, by propaganda – the media. He was able to convince people that Jews, Gypsies, mentally challenged people and others were less than human. He stripped them of their place as persons, and in doing so, was able to perform unfathomable atrocities.
It’s hard to believe that such brutality existed in our “evolved” society just 73 years ago. And yet we only need to look as far back as the early 90’s for examples of ethnic cleansing in Eastern Europe. Genocide and constant, deplorable violence on women have sadly been going on and still goes on in many countries in Africa.
So what is the answer to all this? How can we solve such a massive problem? I believe it begins in the home.
It is so unfortunate that no matter how diligent parents are; in this world there is only so much they can do to prevent exposure of these destructive ideas to their children. But parents can control what is taught in their own home.
I am not yet a Mom, but often think about how I will tackle these problems one day with my children. My own Mother and sister-in-laws are wonderful examples of virtue and teaching virtue.
It saddens me when I see a mother who might promote some of the poisonous, sexualizing ideas herself. I had many friends in high school and college whose mothers emphasized so much on “looking hot,” being popular, being cute and having boyfriends. These goals seemed to trump being a good friend, grades, or planning seriously for the future. It was shocking to me how many of my friends throughout the years had a mother who emphasized so much having a perfect body.
Once in college one of our guy friends came over to the apartment I shared with a few roommates. He told us he had just asked a girl out and that they had gone swimming on the first date. I was floored when my roommate’s immediate response to this information was:
“That was smart to take her swimming on the first date, so you check out her body and see if you want to keep dating her.”
I was even more offended when the guy nodded along, saying that was a really good point. It was unbelievable to me that one woman would so blatantly and methodically objectify a one of my gender. It was so abhorrent to me that the main value of this date was how her body looks in fewer clothes. Her intelligence, hobbies, how good of a person she was or how well she got along with this guy, were never even considered. I couldn’t understand how my roommate instantly turned this peer into a hunk of meat.
When I later met my roommate’s mother, I could understand why she would think like that. Her mother was extremely body-conscious and emphasized the ideal body constantly.
To fight the de-humanizing of women, we start in our homes. Whenever I have been asked if I am a feminist, I reply, “Yes. And that is why I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ.” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, (often mistakenly called the Mormon Church), is a safe haven and champion of womanhood.
Elaine S. Dalton, recently released Young Women’s General President of the Church of Jesus Christ, spoke about the virtue of women:
Of women and mothers, President Gordon B. Hinckley once said:
“We must never lose sight of the strength of the women. … It is mothers who most directly affect the lives of their children. … It is mothers who nurture them and bring them up in the ways of the Lord. Their influence is paramount. …”
So how do a mother and a father instill in their daughter the ennobling and eternal truth that she is a daughter of God? How do we help her step out of the world and step into the kingdom of God?
…Young women need mothers and mentors who exemplify virtuous womanhood. Mothers, your relationship with your daughter is of paramount importance, and so is your example. How you love and honor her father, his priesthood, and his divine role will be reflected and perhaps amplified in your daughter’s attitudes and behavior.
If we teach virtue to our children and practice it ourselves, our families, communities, and the world can be changed for the good. Virtue means purity, integrity, kindness, goodness and strength. Sister Dalton gave us this call:
Again I renew the call for a return to virtue. Virtue is the strength and power of daughters of God. What would the world be like if virtue—a pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards, including chastity—were reinstated in our society as a most highly prized value? If immorality, pornography, and abuse decreased, would there be fewer broken marriages, broken lives, and broken hearts? Would media ennoble and enable rather than objectify and degrade God’s precious daughters? If all humanity really understood the importance of the statement “We are daughters of our Heavenly Father,” how would women be regarded and treated?
We may not always be able to choose the influences we are exposed to, but we can choose how we react to destructive ideas and how we teach our children what is right. I am following Sister Dalton’s call and re-evaluating how I can be more virtuous. Won’t you join me?
Additional Resource: